Three Sentence Movie Reviews: New Feature

Because how much money I spend on a movie has a direct bearing on how much I like it I will now be reporting on the amount of money it cost me to watch the movie and also the location.  I am very lucky to live in Portland and have a variety of options which fall in a financial range from free to $15.00.  Here they are:

First-run evenings.  These cost something like $12.00 or $15.00, an amount I almost never pay unless someone who is not as frugal as me wants to see the film or it is a movie I MUST see on opening night. Or perhaps the movie theater has tricked me and now charges full price for afternoon weekend shows that are not the first showing (bastard Regal Cinemas, this is one of the many reasons I do my best to see movies somewhere else.)

First-run matinees.  Something like $7.00.  Here I have the choice of the evil Regal empire, which sometimes I capitulate to because there are two theaters within walking distance of my work, one of which shows a lot of indie flicks. But also, even closer to my work, is the Living Room Theater, which I initially never went to because their ticket prices were even higher than Regal, but now they have lined up with them and I would rather support them than the evil empire that makes me watch “the 20” before the show.  I hate “the 20” which is now called “Regal First Look” but it was originally called “the 20.”  Before a movie I want to read or chat, not be assaulted by ads for products and ads for products that are movies and tv shoes.

First run movies at the St. John’s Cinema Matinees are $5.00 and evening rates are $7.00.  They tend to show a lot of action movies, so this is my go-to place for things like Spider Man and Batman, etc.

Tuesday nights at Regal.  Movies are $5.00.

Second run movies at the Laurelhurst.  $3.00 before 6:00pm, $4.00 after.  The Laurelhurst often shows  a lot of the indie movies that the Regal Cinema Indie cinema shows, I just have to wait for them.

Second run movies at McMenamins.  Still $3.00, the price they have been the entire ten years I’ve lived in Portland.  I’ve got two theaters available to me:  St. John’s Pub and the Kennedy School.

Rental at the video store.  $2.75 “older” movies for five days, $2.00 for new releases overnight.  I still have a video store!  It has reduced itself to 1/3 its former size, but it is still there.  The $2.00 new releases is particularly delightful as I can think, “I want to see [insert specific movie title here] and I can walk to the store and bring it home within 30 minutes.  So cool!  (As you can tell, we don’t have that on-demand cable thing or the Netflix that appears on your TV, we’re a bit behind.)

Rental at Redbox at the Fred Meyer near my house.  I’ve been charged $1.20?  I don’t really fully understand how the system works.  This is good for when I feel embarrassed about renting a movie, but must see it now.  Though I try to support the video store, with its nice living and breathing employees.

Library.  FREE!  And this is how I see a lot of my movies.  I almost said “the majority” but I think I might still see more movies in a theater than at my home.  With the library, new movies are a very long wait, but movies a year or two old are no wait at all and they have an amazing selection.  You can also keep them for three weeks, which means I bring home a lot more movies than I actually watch.

I love John Green and his love of learning.

For those of you who don’t want to spend the four minutes listening, I’ve transcribed some choice bon mots to convince you to invest those four minutes.

“..sony my first mustache..”

“Who wants to read the Taming of the Shrew? You basically have to translate it from Shakespeare into English, when there is already an excellent filmic translation avaliable in the form of  10 Things I Hate About You.

“But yes, your teachers may be stupid.  So are you, so am I, so is everyone (except Neil Degrasse Tyson).  The whole pleasure of being a human is in being stupid, but learning to be less stupid together.”

“I pay for your schools because I want you to grow up and make my life better.”

“Your education is not just about you. Your nation is making an investment in you because they believe you are worth it.”