Three sentence movie reviews: Argo

I really liked this movie because I expected it to be very dramatic and tense and it was, but it was also quite funny in places.  This made it a great night at the movies.  I also remembered why I originally preferred Ben Affleck to Matt Damon when the two of them became famous.*

Cost:  Free due to passes.
Where watched:  Regal City Center Stadium 12.

*Ben Affleck has those fabulous sad eyes and is better looking in general.  But then he started starring in all those horrible movies and there was the trip to rehab and the best-forgotten Bennifer brouhaha.  Whereas Matt Damon kept his nose clean and just kept making quality film after quality film.  But now that Affleck is directing himself, his acting seems much better and doesn’t distract me from his good looks.

poster from: http://www.impawards.com/2012/argo.html

Three sentence movie reviews: Anna Karenina

I’ve not actually read this book, (though I know how it ends) so I was going in with no bias.  I loved the claustrophobic/theatrical use of the stage set and in general this was a very pretty movie to watch.  The acting was also quite good (you can put me down as “fan” in the Keira Knightly column) and I was absorbed the entire time, though nearly everyone else in the theater got up at some point to go to the bathroom.

Cost:  free due to birthday movie gift card
Where watched: Regal Fox Tower

poster from: http://www.impawards.com/2012/anna_karenina.html

Three sentence movie reviews: The Cake Eaters

While sometimes grabbing an unfamiliar movie from the library works out, sometimes it means 90-120 minutes of “ugh”.  So was the case for this movie which despite starring Kristen Stewart (who I like) and being directed by Mary Stuart Masterson (who was good in some key movies in my life) was not a very good movie at all.  Aside from the fact the title never bothers to connect itself to the movie,* the plot itself has many confusing attributes** that were just annoying.

*No cake was eaten, no discussion was made about cake, frosting or any desserts at all.
**Here’s a partial list:

  • Kristen Stewart’s illness was never really explained.  If you are going to have a rare disease in a movie, it pays to let your audience know what’s the deal.  
  • They live in a tiny town and yet these people seem to have no idea of the existence of each other.
  • “Intricately plotted” should only be used when the plot is, well, intricate. This was just members of the same two families sleeping with each other.
  • If you are going to have a “very sad realization” happen to one of the characters, you need to spell out a little better what the heck the realization is.
  • Movies where hair is cut in a dramatic fashion should manage the wig situation well enough so that the audience can’t tell there is a wig involved.

Cost:  Free from library (thank goodness)
Where watched:  at home.

poster from: http://www.impawards.com/2009/cake_eaters.html

(note that the cover of the DVD had a big picture of Kristen Stewart unlike this original poster.  I think this film was picked up because of Twilight.)

A loud message.

But perhaps not quite so clear?

This was on the walk to Lowe’s which is not a pretty walk. It’s chock full of speeding cars, little-to-no sidewalks, some careful walking along the edges of mud, various industrial things and then a boring section of seemingly endless parking lot and big box-type stores. It’s a utilitarian walk.  So I heard the message on the sign loud and clear, but I was confused by what it was telling me.  I was confused enough to stop and ponder.  My first question was  “My left, or your left?”  I think they must have meant my left, so I looked to the left of the sign and saw nothing that looked extremely dangerous, just more parking lot and building.  Then I looked to my left and saw the usual, cars driving by, sidewalk.

I finally decided the extreme danger was the steady flow of cars exceeding the 40 mph speed limit in the quest to get to the freeway on-ramp.  And I think the people who put up the sign are not the business we see in the picture, but the business across the street.  Their customers must pull out of the lot into very fast traffic.  The road slopes a bit so visibility might not be very good.  With my mystery solved–at least in my mind–I walked on to Lowe’s and purchased my plastic anchors and wandered back home.

Three sentence movie reviews: The Tourist

The review I read for this movie could be summed up as “eh,” so I bypassed it when it was in theaters.  But because I loved Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck’s* previous film** and because the movie was just sitting there at the library and because I really like both main actors I took it home and watched it.  And I LOVED THIS MOVIE which was chock full of glamour and intrigue in that old Hollywood way without being slowly paced in that old Hollywood way.

Cost:  free from library
Where watched: at home

*My favorite director name, ever.
**The Lives of Others, which you really must see if you haven’t already.

poster from: http://www.impawards.com/2010/tourist.html

Three sentence movie reviews: Beautiful Thing

I took a chance on this even though the case told me absolutely nothing about the movie, except for the fact that a lot of people liked it.  And I liked it too, all those critics weren’t wrong!  It’s a coming of age gay-boy story set in a suburb of London and even includes a side helping of Mama Cass.

Cost:  free from library
Where watched:  at home.

poster from: http://www.impawards.com/1996/beautiful_thing_ver5.html