Why I don’t watch the Olympics


Things I like about the Olympics:
Weird sports get their every-four-year moment in the sun.
It’s really cool, all those athletes coming together to compete.
I read somewhere that there is a lot of sex happening in the Olympic Village, given that there are a lot of people in peak physical condition who, once their events are over, spend time hooking up with other people in peak physical condition.  I find this fact delightful, and the reward an excellent payoff for all that boring training.

Things I absolutely cannot stand about the Olympics:

  • News organizations’ weird need to package every single athlete into a “top story line”
  • The annoying fixation on how many medals the US is going to win.
  • The “horrible anguish” the announcers launch into when someone who was thought to win gold “only” wins a silver medal.  They won a medal at the Olympics!  That’s a very cool thing, man.
  • The asinine commentary in general.
  • The fact that the events I want to watch are surrounded by 42,000 commercials, idiotic commentary, “heartwarming” stories, and events I could care less about.

Sadly, the things I cannot stand about the Olympics outweigh the things I like about them.  So I will not be watching the Olympics this year, but I send well wishes to all, especially that woman from Bulgaria who isn’t even going to place in the finals, but is going to have a lot of sex with a lot of different guys.  Well done, lady!

2 thoughts on “Why I don’t watch the Olympics”

  1. We watched a lot of the Olympics in Canada. It was refreshing to see sports I had never seen: trampoline, canoeing, kayaking. The commentary was also not as snarky as the given by the US sportscasters. We loved that. Also they showed all of the event AND the medal ceremony without cutting to a commercial. The first gold medal for Canada came on the trampoline. It was so fun to be in Canada for that victory! So, if you can see it in another country, I think you will love. I have the closing ceremonies taped (DVRed) and waiting to watch. NBC left out so much great stuff from the opening that I'm hesitant…

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