Category: All (-ish)

A strange coming together of topics

From Powell’s “funny books” display:
At first I thought it was tax tips for chefs or restaurant owners and that made sense to me. But then I read on and found that either the Tax Department has a division of Retarded and Developmentally Disabled workers who created this guide, OR the Tax Department’s Employees (not retarded) made this guide for the Retarded and Developmentally Disabled. But then I’m not sure where the culinary part comes in. Maybe the RDD people work in kitchens? Maybe the Tax Department’s employees are spicing up the title with a fun word like culinary? Like many, many things in life, I will never know the answer.

I can’t tell if they are joking or not.

I made a vat of hummus for our Spindrift trip. The hummus also came with celery and carrots for dipping and, of course, pita bread. After we got home, I happened to look at the label and laughed long and hard when I read the diagrams for the suggested ways to cut the pita bread.

There’s something familiar about the hot dog slice and the diagonal taco cut. I feel like I’ve seen it before somewhere…
Oh yes! Those two cuts are THE EXACT SAME CUT AS the sandwich cut. They are just rotated.

Hmmm, I really want to make the “cold cuts” cut, because I’ve got this delicious roast beef. But what should I do if I’m making tiny roast beef sandwiches for snacks? Which cut should I use?

Oh wait! It turns out that the Hors d’oeuvres/Snack Cut and the Cold Cuts cuts are THE EXACT SAME CUT!

I’m really hoping the graphic designer who created this packaging realizes this and is just having a laugh.

Three sentence movie reviews: Iron Man 2


Continuing the tradition of seeing a superhero movie in celebration of our anniversary, we caught up with Tony Stark. I found this movie to be great fun, especially with the always excellent Don Cheadle replacing the mediocre Terrance Howard. Also, I finally find a movie when I can stand to watch Mickey Rourke and, (plus!) Sam Rockwell was awesome, as usual.

poster from: http://www.impawards.com/2010/iron_man_two.html

Edwin Markham

There was a feature in the Oregonian today about Oregon’s Poet Laureates. Edwin Markham was one from 1923-1940. He was born in Oregon, but lived in California after age five. I was delighted to reacquaint myself with his poem “Outwitted” which I’m sure was in some textbook I read in junior high or high school.

Outwitted
He drew a circle that shut me out–
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But Love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle that took him in!

You can read a bit more about him in the Oregonian’s article “Oregon’s Poet Laureates: A sample of their work, a bit about their lives.” published May 10, 2010 and (for right now) available here.

Getting out of bed.

I very rarely have problems getting out of bed in the morning. Most of the time, I wake up before my alarm and I get up and go about my day. Even on the weekends I don’t tend to linger in bed in the morning. But the afternoon? That’s an entirely different story. When not working, I tend to get sleepy after lunch and I lay down “for just a little bit.” Getting up after that “little bit” is a Herculean task and the bit sometimes stretches to a good two hours or so. I nap and read and generally do anything possible to avoid getting up. “Just five more minutes” I plead to myself.

In that ideal life, which I think I can find by locating the city on the hill, I would not need a nap. But in this life, I do.

Three sentence movie reviews: It’s Complicated

ITC_31_5_Promo_4C_4F
The wealth in this movie was distracting* but the acting was superb. I found some of the “hi-lar–ious” situations a bit forced, but still amusing and I liked how everything ended up. Question: Is it his charisma or would John Krasinski be as magnetic if he wasn’t Jim from the Office?

poster from: http://www.impawards.com/2009/its_complicated_ver2.html

*as in, “Hmmmm. I’m guessing that house must be worth at least two million dollars. Now clearly she owned it when she and her husband were married, so she probably got it in the divorce, but how could she afford the upkeep? Her bakery/coffee shop seemed to be very busy, but one location can’t possibly pull in that much, can it? Perhaps she has multiple locations? He is some sort of successful lawyer, but really do lawyers make that much? He has the swanky condo in the city and the fancy car, plus probably some sort of payments/loss of income due to the divorce, although that was more than a decade ago, so perhaps he has time to recover. And neither of them seem to work. And really, her already quite large kitchen isn’t big enough? It’s the size of my living room. If she’s so busy, as alluded to, when does she have time to do all this cooking? Also, the daughter and son-in-law’s home is huge! They are supposed to be in their 20s and this is California. How can they afford that? Are they lawyers too? Maybe there is a trust fund involved. Really, this all should be explained so I can concentrate on the story. Just a throwaway line like ‘grandpa’s cotton money provided all this’ would do. Geez.”