Tag: funny

In searching for a teaching position, I get the fun of reading Craigslist ads–most of which are not for a teaching position because the job market is not so good right now. In reading these ads, I find delightful, “are they serious?” moments, which I’m going to keep to myself no longer.

Today’s entry from Craigslist:

Math Tutor needed for Portland Family for upcoming 2011-2012 school year. Must have previous tutoring, student teaching, or teaching experience in Math or Science. In addition to math, general homework help may be required. We are looking for someone who has a high energy level and can engage, guide and encourage these students in their studies. Must be able to motivate while making the learning “fun”. Math expertise in elementary school arithmetic – calculus required.

I think they mean “elementary arithmetic through calculus” but their phraseology implies they want someone with experience with calculus at the elementary school level.

Note: a few days later this was changed to “accepting” so it turns out they would take cash after all. Also note that this gas station sign is a favorite sighting when traveling the long road (Lombard) to St. Johns. It’s always wishing people a happy birthday or congratulating them for something or other. It’s one of the treasures of Lombard street, as far as I’m concerned.

The picture this headline makes in my head is that remains were found sometime in the past near Blue Lake Park and were moved back to their proper place, but turned zombie-like and wandered back to Blue Lake Park again. However, the sub-headline clarifies things:

Apparently it was a different set of remains this time. No need to worry about zombie remains here in Portland, folks.

Apparently, not only will this celebration happening on Thanksgiving not be vegan, it will also be free of Thanksgiving. And happening at a United Methodist “Chruch,” whatever that is.

Among the important things you should carry in the back of your car…
.. make sure to always bring along your Zombie Survival Kit.

Good job Matt, for noticing this.

Now, I have been known to refer to certain children–and adults, for that matter–at my school as “slow.” But would I ever use the term to market a product? N-O, No! Slow isn’t a professional term. Try “delayed.” So this postcard made me laugh. Several times, as it came to us repeatedly.

ps. The child on the front who is most probably unmotivated, slow or discipline-problemed? What were they thinking?

This random sign made me laugh. Writing this from the future, I can tell you that this random sign maker posted funny things throughout spring quarter, making my climb up three long flights of stairs to my math class much more fun.
It says:

Trapped inside for yet another indoor recess this week I had the following conversation with some members of the K/1 class.

A group of boys was playing with pattern blocks and as I watched them I realized that one of them was talking about dropping a bomb.

“What’s your classroom rule about bombs?” I asked. The thing I love about the K/1 class is they will usually tell me what the rule is, even if it means they have to stop doing what they were doing.

“There’s no rule about bombs.” Owen assured me, most enthusiastically. However, he is one of the K/1’s who won’t necessarily tell me the whole truth. I waited to see what he would say next. “There is only a rule about guns. No guns.” He continued.

“Actually, “Alex put forth, “the rule is no weapons.”

“No weapons at all?” I asked.

“No.” a chorus of boys assured me.

“Well, a bomb is a weapon.” I told them. “If you have a rule about no weapons, then you can’t pretend to drop bombs.”

“What about missiles?” asked Thai, seeking a loophole. I told him that alas, missiles were weapons too.

“Spears!” Owen, the optimist, asked.

“Nope, also a weapon.”

“Well how are we supposed to play alien invasion if we can use weapons?” Owen, was a bit perturbed at this point.

“I guess you are just going to have to use peace, love and understanding,” I told them, “because you can’t use weapons.”