Mostly I don’t have to deal with this stuff


I watch most of my movies at home, but I would guess I see movies in theaters more often than the average person.  But not nearly as often as movie critics do.  Mostly my screenings are filled with well-behaved audiences.  Let’s go point-by-point.

  1. Mostly people don’t talk.  Occasionally there will be a couple who talks now and then.  Writing from the future, I can report that the older couple at the end of the row during my screening of Bridge of Spies talked intermittently, but I found it kind of cute.  And then there was the guy during my screening of Wild who kept leaning over to his wife and telling her the names of the landmarks.  That was super cute.  If it’s intermittent and mostly quiet, I’m mostly okay.
  2. I haven’t had texting, but every once in a while someone is looking something up on their phone.  Sometimes they are on IMDB. Apparently they can’t wait until the end of the movie to figure out who that person is.  They always shield the top of the phone, as if that will make any difference (it doesn’t).  I’ve always just informed them that I find their phone distracting and they’ve always put their phone away.
  3. Nope.  Doesn’t happen to me.
  4. Seriously?  People do this?
  5. It’s been a while, but man do I hate it when people do this.  I don’t even like it when people bring their kids to a too-old-for-their-age-group kids movies.
  6. I never put my feet up when people are sitting in front of me. I often do when they are not.  I’ve not had a problem with people doing it to me.
  7. Also has never happened to me.
  8. Jeff Baker seems to have a problem with popcorn.  Sometimes I smuggle carrot sticks into the theater and feel guilty I’m crunching so loudly.  Sorry Jeff Baker.  I hope you aren’t sitting near me when I do this.
  9. Yes!  Just this weekend there was a couple who was taking their seats during the previews.  As far as I’m concerned, the show has started.  Find your seat and sit down quickly.  These two were standing and getting things adjusted, digging in pockets etc.  Although, again, when I yelled, “Would you please sit down?”  they did.  Portland people are so polite.  I also followed up my request with a “thank you!”
  10. Again, rarely happens.  But I can remember going to a midnight movie at the 5 Mile Plaza during my teenage years and watching in astonishment at the couple a few rows in front of me making out for most of the movie. And there was the time I saw Notting Hill with the couple with the intellectual disability sitting next to me totally sucking face.  I was NOT enchanted with their shenanigans.

So, overall, I have few problems in Portland theaters.

One thought on “Mostly I don’t have to deal with this stuff”

  1. I don’t have many movie problems either, and I too probably go more than the average American (typically twice per month). The one I see most often is cell phones, which I find both very annoying and distracting, although I don’t see it as much as I used to. I think people actually respond to those polite notices at the beginning of the movie to turn them off!

    As for eating, while it may seem loud inside your head, I rarely notice people eating during the movie because the movie itself is typically so loud. Although, the other week, the woman next to me was chewing her gum so loudly it was like I was sitting next to a cow. God, it was so irritating.

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