The summer I was a park ranger on an island in the Boston Harbor I experienced a lot of boat owners. I started out the season wishing I had a boat and by September I knew that there was no way I would ever put myself through that.
Boats
Tag: funny
Funny in today’s comics
Ah, the secret communication with someone who isn’t ip-hay to the ig-pay atin-lay. And “annoyerist” kind of finished me off.
Then I turned the page to find this sleepy couple.
The CT picture spread in VF
My Channing Tatum peccadillo is such that I not only bought this issue on the newsstand (actually from the supermarket) but TWO people gave me a copy. I enjoyed the article, but the photo spread was my favorite part. And not because it featured Mr. CT, (who I do not find that appealing in static 2-D, he only works for me in moving 2-D, a.k.a. movies) but because it was hilarious.
The cover isn’t too bad, it’s the captions inside that slay me.
Here we go. The captions will be big and bold. My commentary will be normal sized.
Tatum shares soup with a puppy.
This is actually a cute picture, one of his better static 2-D images. He, unlike many men of his era, can carry off a hat. And I know he likes dogs. But really? Who thinks of these things? “Get me a puppy! And some soup!”
This is actually a cute picture, one of his better static 2-D images. He, unlike many men of his era, can carry off a hat. And I know he likes dogs. But really? Who thinks of these things? “Get me a puppy! And some soup!”
The former male dancer shows off his body.
Ugh. The sweats! Has Vanity Fair decided to become the new Seventeen?
Ugh. The sweats! Has Vanity Fair decided to become the new Seventeen?
A vintage Mustang.
Um. Okay? But why?
Um. Okay? But why?
A portrait of the young man as an artist.
Again, why? Are these things planned ahead of time? First, we will do the puppy/soup picture, then put you in sweats. After that! Step into this sweater and these velour pants and look arty.
Again, why? Are these things planned ahead of time? First, we will do the puppy/soup picture, then put you in sweats. After that! Step into this sweater and these velour pants and look arty.
Back in the saddle.
The other problem is that CT has a pretty limited male model look. (Paging Zoolander!) Above, we saw it face on, here he’s looking to the side.
The other problem is that CT has a pretty limited male model look. (Paging Zoolander!) Above, we saw it face on, here he’s looking to the side.
Animal Magnetism
This is the requisite scrotum photo. Though I actually like this one because he is squint-y smiling.
This is the requisite scrotum photo. Though I actually like this one because he is squint-y smiling.
A view from the ranch.
What ranch? Where does this ranch come in? It is not mentioned in the article. And why waste a picture on a forgettable “ranch” view when you could be showing your public more CT?
Tatum in the riding ring.
Here we get his model look from the other side. And learn that the shirt above, in the black and white photo, is blue. And the “Marsha, Marsha, Marsha” part of me needs to point out that he’s not actually IN the riding ring, but standing right outside.
Here we get his model look from the other side. And learn that the shirt above, in the black and white photo, is blue. And the “Marsha, Marsha, Marsha” part of me needs to point out that he’s not actually IN the riding ring, but standing right outside.
Puppies!
Yes, that is really the caption. With the exclamation point. Again, is this Vanity Fair or Seventeen?
Yes, that is really the caption. With the exclamation point. Again, is this Vanity Fair or Seventeen?
Shot by Bruce Weber in 2001.
“Oh my god, is that his pubic hair?” Matt said, as I was walking him through the photo spread. Hmmm. It is. And I hadn’t really noticed, either. This picture was taken four years before he would appear in Coach Carter and five years before A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints, when an astute reviewer would comment that “the camera doesn’t just love him, it wants to marry him, settle down and have his babies.” Yep-per.
A vintage boat.
Dammit! We don’t care about the damn vintage boat.
Dammit! We don’t care about the damn vintage boat.
Preparing to Launch
I sort of get this one, as the gist of the article is that Channing Tatum is big, but Channing Tatum himself seems to think he could be even bigger. And I guess he’s willing to step into an astronaut suit for a cheesy photo shoot.
I mean really Vanity Fair? This was the best you could do?
I sort of get this one, as the gist of the article is that Channing Tatum is big, but Channing Tatum himself seems to think he could be even bigger. And I guess he’s willing to step into an astronaut suit for a cheesy photo shoot.
I mean really Vanity Fair? This was the best you could do?
Parade Magazine Photo Spread: You win some, you lose some.
On the one hand, when a heterosexual couple rides a tandem bike, it is very uncommon to find the female in front. Really. In real life, I’ve only seen it once. This makes no sense to me as most women are smaller than their partners and it would make sense for them to be in front so they can see something beside their companion’s sweaty back. So I liked this pairing that places–wait, who is that? Kelly? I think it’s Kelly Ripa? Anyway, it places her in front of her new co-host.
However, look at her shoes!
Good lord, no!
Good lord, no!
Dilbert is funny
I rarely find Dilbert a barrel of laughs, but for some reason this caused a guffaw while riding the train to work. Maybe because I, too worry about being replaced by the robots.
A glass-half-full type of a restaurant.
The weather has been gorgeous and everyone wants to eat outside. What’s a new restaurant with indoor seating to do? That’s right! Play to your strengths. Well done Taqueria Los Gorditos. And I’ve eaten there and they have a fabulous bean, cheese and rice burrito for only $4.00.
Don’t scramble these eggs.
The K/1 classes are studying birds and one of the teachers is attempting to hatch chicks. The incubator has been here waiting and guess what arrived today?
Don’t scramble these eggs! We shall see if anything comes of them.
Don’t scramble these eggs! We shall see if anything comes of them.
Flash Mob. Missing the point.
Director Park posts upcoming events. Check out what will happen on Saturday, April 27 at 1:00pm: A Flash Mob! Except the point of a flash mob is that it’s supposed be a surprise.
Ka-shard-ee-ans
For some reason, my mind refuses to pronounce the “famous” reality family’s name correctly. I don’t think I’ve ever seen them in anything but print media, having never seen any of their reality shows. Still, just from that exposure I can probably give you a pretty full synopsis of their lives. Here they are dominating 3 of 4 magazine covers in my checkout line at the grocery store.
Self Portrait
Waiting for a table at Mother’s I watched this guy set up this shot and started grabbing for my camera too. He took more than one, but this was the only “hands-free” self portrait. Can you see the phone on the top of the sign? My friend laughed at his actions, but I’ve taken too many self-portraits to judge.