Three sentence movie reviews: Red Riding Hood

red_riding_hood

The two male leads were both incredibly wooden in their performances, and neither one of them was good looking enough to draw attention away from their lackluster skills.  The story itself was interesting, so that was good.  And it was quite pretty to look at, what with the random spikes growing out of everything.

Cost: free due to work paying for Netflix
Where watched: at home with Matt.

poster from: http://www.impawards.com/2011/red_riding_hood.html

Three sentence movie reviews: Selma

selma

I was bracing myself for violence as depicted in Twelve Years a Slave, and was relieved that this movie’s violence was not on that level.  But the violence shown was horrible.*  Very good performances by all and completely worth watching.

Cost: free from library
Where watched: at home.

*I kept thinking how the police officers on the bridge who attacked the marchers had to go home and eat their dinner.  And what did they have to say about their day?  And what do their now-grown children say about their father’s actions during the Civil Rights Movement.

poster from: http://www.impawards.com/intl/uk/2014/selma.html
(A comment on the poster noted that on the four-color poster, Dr. King’s neck had been slimmed down.  I looked and it was true.  See for yourself. Another comment supposed that this had to do with this being the British version of the poster, and Brits being more familiar with actor David Oyelowo than Martin Luther King.  To that I say, “hmmmm.”)selma_ver2

Three sentence movie reviews: Love and Basketball

love_and_basketball_ver2

I’ve seen this before,* and remembered loving it; and I’m happy to report that despite the passage of 16 years, this movie is still as fresh and as enjoyable as it was at the turn of the millennium. Partially this is due to Gina Prince-Bythewood’s ability to write and film a love story, and partially because Sanaa Lathan and Omar Epps go above and beyond their acting duties and infuse their characters with so many levels of humanity, you can’t help falling in love with them yourself.** Overall, I think it’s a travesty that Prince-Bythewood isn’t directing a feature film every couple of years or so.

Cost: free from library
Where watched: at home.

*In 2000, when I was in Lincoln, NE for a wedding and borrowed a bike so I could ride to the theater.
**I do have some problems with the “forth quarter” of the movie, but those quibbles are not for the three sentence movie review.

If you are in the mood for a longer review, I think Roger Ebert makes some good points about the kind of “sports film” this is.  Reading it, I’m reminded of how I miss his reviews.

poster from: http://www.impawards.com/2000/love_and_basketball_ver2.html

Three sentence movie reviews: The Middle of Nowhere

middle_of_nowhere

Mostly, I found this movie to be slow, which isn’t a bad thing.*  What this movie did have were subtle shifts and a lot of internal introspection and change.  Also really good acting by all participants.**

Cost: free from library.
Where watched: at home.

*For instance, it examined gender roles in a much more interesting way than The Best of Me did.
**While Emayatzy Corinealdi was very good in the lead, Lorraine Toussaint really killed me with her portrayal of a mother trying and failing to connect with her daughters.

poster from:  http://www.impawards.com/2012/middle_of_nowhere.html

Three sentence movie reviews: The Best of Me

best_of_me

I knew I shouldn’t have watched this, not just because it is adapted from a Nicolas Sparks novel,* but also because my DVD copy advertised it was a “Tears of Joy” edition.  But I like Michelle Monaghan, and I’m a sucker for the “first love” plot, so viewed it I did.  And dammit if my thought “that plot twist didn’t set me up for Tears of Joy” wasn’t followed by actual Tears of Joy ten minutes later.**

Cost: free from library
Where watched: at home.  Toes are now ice blue.  And let me say, the previous color, a glittery black and mauve concoction called “Scandalous” took a very long time to remove.  I have other polish that is also difficult to remove, but that polish doesn’t chip on day three of wear.  Scandalous, living up to its name, will not be making an appearance on my toes ever again.

*If you made a game of drinking each time his stories reinforce traditional gender roles you would be dead before the climax.****
**It was still a massively annoying movie though–though not as terrible as the Notebook.  It was filled with the gender role crap, plus Luke Bracey looked like he was five years out of college.***  Could they not find someone close to eighteen to play an eighteen-year-old?  I could never really believe Liana Liberato was his first love.
***IMDB trivia reports Bracey was 25 and Liberato was 19 when filming.  Interestingly Bracey’s bio on the site doesn’t include his year of birth.  So perhaps he is older.
**** “Why do I feel dumber after you tell me about these movies?” Matt asked, after I dramatically recounted the plot.  He was also highly offended at the title, once I told him where the Tears of Joy came from.

poster from: http://www.impawards.com/2014/best_of_me.html

Three sentence movie reviews: Heaven Can Wait

heaven_can_wait

Hey, are you looking for a male-centered comedy about a man who gets pulled into heaven before he should arrive and thus must spend some time in different people’s bodies while the people in charge of such things find him a suitable body?  Well, this is the comedy is for you, and despite it being nearly forty years old the humor still holds up.  Watching this, I can see a glimmer of why Mr. Beatty was once considered so desirable, though I can’t say I felt the same way.

Cost: free from library
Where watched: at home.

Thus ends my Elaine May marathon. She co-wrote this film.  There’s nothing left to watch, alas.

poster from: http://www.impawards.com/1978/heaven_can_wait.html

Three sentence movie reviews: White House Down

white_house_down_ver5

I didn’t have much downtime this weekend, so when I saw this at the library, I grabbed it, then offered it up as an entertainment option for my sick (and bored) boyfriend.  On first viewing, I entered with low expectations and was happily surprised; this time I noticed that after about the 2/3rds mark EVERY line was cheesy.  However, I did again enjoy the breadcrumbs of plot that were nicely scattered and then returned to, as well as the way the plot kept dragging them back into the White House in plausible ways.

Cost: free from library
Where watched: at home with Matt

poster from: http://www.impawards.com/2013/white_house_down_ver5.html

I’m sorry, but the comments are too good not to grab.  I love that some of them include their job titles.  Is a Visitor Experience Associate of the Science Museum of Minnesota qualified to judge this poster?  The internet says yes.

Adreanna Ramirez ·

might be the worst poster of the year. Its so bad on so many levels.
Shawn Grobel ·
walk away bro, just walk away.

Donnacha Kenny ·

“Cool guys don’t look at explosions…”

Bert Shuttlecock ·

Generic and uninteresting. Except ID4, the rest of the director’s credit is useless or even harmful!

Ryan O’Brien ·

Would have been so much better if he were looking at us incredulously with his thumb jerked behind him as if to say ‘Holy sh*t do you see that?’

Richard Nelson

When you’re the second movie about something in a year, why would you create a poster that resembles something from the first movie?

http://impawards.com/2013/olympus_has_fallen_ver13.html

Fred Carlsson ·

Bad bad bad.

Heidl Bär ·

John Carter of Earth?

Alexandro Olivera ·

Awwww the famous and inevitable red sparks.

 

Day of Driving, Eight Eposodes of Serial and Ever Closer to our Passport Goal.

So we’ve got this rain thing happening in my part of Oregon, you might have heard.  And we do things in the rain, because if you don’t do things in the rain, you don’t get to do much for nine months of the year.  But man, was it a miserable spring day when we set out on our journey.  The kind with dark skies and pouring rain and everything just sopping wet.  The kind of day where you can be sitting warm and dry in a car and still feel chilly.

Our aim was to drive to Lincoln City, get our passport stamp there, then head up 101 to Gearheart and grab our stamps there, then head home on 26.  We brought along episodes of Season 1 of the Serial Podcast to keep us company.

This is after the rain had lightened up. I wanted to grab a picture when it looked really terrible, but I was busy driving.IMG_5117

One nice things about rainy days, you get some great rainbows.  I saw two full rainbows and another partial. IMG_5118

Our first destination.  McMenamins Lighthouse Brewpub is another strip mall McMenamins, this one located in Lincoln City. IMG_5119

Unlike most restaurants, this one had a photo hunt.  It wasn’t too hard though. IMG_5120

In fact, it was to the right of the clue. Here, Matt poses with the picture. IMG_5121

We completed that passport goal.  Aside from driving to Lincoln City, this was the easiest one so far, requiring only one stamp. IMG_5122

Matt chose the crab fondue appetizer.IMG_5123

I went with the bowl of clam chowder.  And I got two bags of oyster crackers!IMG_5124

Though it was a strip mall McMenamins, I liked how the second floor made me feel like I was tucked away in a crow’s nest.   IMG_5125

Our weather improved a ton and we stopped at the Tillamook Cheese Factory, where I bought my traditional bag of squeaky cheese.  The factory was producing 40 pound blocks of cheese.IMG_5126

This is a terrible picture, information-wise, as well as compositionally. IMG_5127

We stopped at the viewpoint at Tillamook Bay.  There was a lot of wind going on.IMG_5128

Our next stop was a quick hike to Short Sands beach in Oswald West State Park.  The waves were crashing like mad.IMG_5129

Matt and I had visited this summer, when the tide was out and there was a good amount of sand.  This time, the tide was in and we discovered just how short the sand at Short Sands Beach can be.  The wind was intense–it pushed us off the beach when we turned to go.IMG_5130

We stopped at Gearheart Hotel to get our stamps and prizes.  This was the answer to the photo clue.  Unique to McMenamins hotels, this location had interperative text on nearly every photo.  This made finding the correct photo a challenge.  Luckily for me, a guy in the Pot Bunker Bar told me where it was. IMG_5131

Matt and Linda pose outside the hotel. IMG_5132

Though Matt could have gotten a second leather drink cosy, he opted for the pint glass and pin, as did I.IMG_5133