Category: Three Sentence Movie Reviews

I had low expectations going in (Matt had renamed it “The Underwelming Spider-Man” after his viewing) and that probably helped me like this movie.  I liked that Peter Parker’s first girlfriend was smart (and played by Emma Stone) and I enjoyed Parker’s evolution into a superhero.  Overall though, the visions of Toby Maguire’s Spider-man still loomed too large in my head, causing me to protest, “To soon!” to this version.

I watch a lot of movies and every once in awhile a movie hits the sweet spot and leaves me with an elated feeling that lasts a few days.  This was such a movie and I highly recommend it, all those quotes on the poster are spot-on.     It transported me to a world I (thankfully) don’t know, it had amazing acting (much of it done by normal looking people) the story was gripping, and the lives shown were depicted in such a matter-of-fact fashion that I simply experienced the movie it happened and then spent a lot of time thinking about it after.

Another for-free flick, this was quite enjoyable mostly because it wasn’t very good, but we expected that, seeing as how Hasbro (a-hem: toy manufacturer) is the first title card they put on the screen.  I thought that, aside from Alexander Skarsgard who was a horrible actor, Rihanna was incredibly awful and I spent a lot of time wondering why they didn’t hire some nice black actress who could act and actually needed the money, while Matt was not too bothered by the both of them and couldn’t stand real-life Iraq hero Gregory D. Gadson who I thought was fine.  So there’s a possibility that this might be a good movie after all for just the right person, although it’s a slim possibility indeed.

ps.  I chose this poster because my friend is having a “thing” for Taylor Kitsch that parallels my Chris Hemsworth thing.

We saw this for free too and it was not very good (Matt fell asleep).  There are some animated films (Incredibles, Finding Nemo, Up, etc.) that are very good watching for adults and then there are some animated films that just aren’t.  I saw a preview for this film yesterday and there were so many good bits in the preview, I found myself wondering why they didn’t all knit together nicely into a good movie.

I had to go to Netflix for this movie as the library and my local video store did not carry it.*  It was a low-budget indie, and suffered a bit from both the low budget and the indie, I think.  Though it did bring up some interesting questions, had the most screen time with Chris Hemsworth of any of his movies, and Sean Bean was quite good.

*the movie poster isn’t even on my favorite movie poster site.

I found 50/50 to be so-so.  Even the presence of Joseph Gordon Levitt couldn’t pull it out of the “eh” category for me.  It wasn’t the worst 100 minutes of my life, but it was pretty forgettable.

Yet another movie watched to see Chris Hemsworth, this was surprisingly good, as it has a forgettable title and a somewhat overwrought synopsis.  However, I’ve always loved Steve Zahn, finding him the male Judy Greer* of the 90s, and his presence offset my outright dislike of Milla Jovovich.**  This is a great ensemble cast (though Chris Hemsworth’s screen time is minimal) and just when I figured it all out, I got confused again.

*You know, the best friend.  In Steve Zahn’s case he was always the zany best friend.  Except for that grim turn in Riding in Cars With Boys. Rest assured he does not play the zany best friend in this movie, he gets to be the star.


**I think this dislike stems from us being pretty much the same age, but when I was a pimply, awkward 12-year-old I got to see feature stories in the teen magazines I read at the time about this amazingly beautiful 12-year-old model with an odd name.  Plus later, when she was 16, she got to hang out with all the Dazed and Confused cast despite the fact she wasn’t really a very good actress.  I wasn’t a good actress either, but I had to go to high school every day, not run off over the border and get married for two months to that odd-looking guy from the movie.  Sure, there was an annulment because she was underage, but still.  And don’t even get me started about the whole music phase.  I’ve mellowed in my old age, because despite 20+ years of dislike, I thought she was good in this.

This movie was awesome in that it was entirely unbelievable and since it was not tethered to anything resembling real life, it totally worked.  As a passing bit of fluff, it is also fun to describe to people who won’t bother to see it.  I was also confused as how the actor playing Abraham Lincoln could morph from “nerdy” to “hot” from one scene to the next.