Essay: Petulance and Accomplishment.

Wandering around Facebook feeling nostalgic the other day I clicked on my high school graduating class Facebook page and discovered that one of my classmates had written and directed a movie that will be opening February 14, 2013.

Objectively this is pretty exciting for the following  reasons: I went to school with someone who made a movie!; the classmate in question is female and I’m always standing on the “more women in Hollywood” soapbox!; the movie in question is about a topic near and dear to my heart (young women’s emerging sexuality) that isn’t often seen on screen!; there are recognizable actors in it who I enjoy!; also, if the trailer is to be believed, the movie looks pretty damn good!
You can check it out for yourself.  The movie is called The To Do List and doing a Google search will get you to promo material for it, including the trailer.  Be warned though, YouTube makes you sign in to watch said trailer because it’s not appropriate for all audiences.  The plot focuses on a nerdy senior in high
school who wants more sexual experience before she goes to college and makes a
list of things she hasn’t done and works through them.  It’s also a comedy, not a drama, so you can guess how the list will go.
So awesome, right?  Win-win? If only that were true.
I’d like to say that I’m enlightened enough to have a “yay for her, good job” reaction, but the truth of the matter is that I fell into a funk for a few days.  Then there were a few days of processing and here are the various layers of my reaction.
“It’s not fair.”  This was probably the worst reaction and it was the first.  It’s not like I’ve been working toward writing and directing movies as Maggie Carey seems to have been doing for the past decade or so according to her IMDB profile.  So shouldn’t I be happy that she has toiled and accomplished a finished product?  I should, but I’m petty and I am not.
“I do good things too!” This was best expressed one day at work after completing one of my daily tasks.  “Attendance is entered for the day and they can make a movie about that, dammit!” I announced to the guffaw of my co-worker who had the pleasure of observing most of my overly dramatic angst.
The truth is, I’m guessing that my not-so-glamorous life isn’t that different that Maggie Carey’s life.  I’m thinking that she has laundry and dishes too.
And a lot of the work listed on her IMDB profile is not glamorous movie-making work. It’s the equivalent of entering attendance in my world.  (I bet it pays better, though.)  The fact of the matter is, I think we all want to be recognized for just getting up and getting to work each day, no matter how we feel about our jobs.
Directors of movies just happen to have a calling card that’s a lot bigger than Office Managers of charter schools.
“She shouldn’t be the one to write that story, dammit!”  This took a bit to uncover because I was mired in the above two feelings, but here’s the thing.  The story is about a nerdy high school senior.  However, the writer of the story was in no way, shape or form a nerdy high school senior.  She was part of the popular crowd.  I understand that people don’t have to write from their own experience and that there are many more comedy choices in the main character being a nerdy girl, but I very strongly feel that I and my fellow creative nerdy friends should be the ones to write the nerdy high school tales.  It seems unfair for someone in the top pinnacle of high school society to write a story from the perspective of the rest of us.

Here’s what I remember about Maggie Carey.  She was on student council.  She was a cheerleader in Jr. High School, but not High School.  She swam on the fancy private club swim team and had an amazingly fast backstroke.  We sometimes had Accelerated English together and I found her a bit spazzy and annoying.  I’m not sure we ever interacted, and the only clear memory I have of her was the skit the student council put on during our Senior Year which was very clever and involved all the characters from Scooby Doo and perhaps she played Velma.  I went to a big school.  Our social circles didn’t cross.  Her being popular didn’t affect me, I had no desire to be popular myself and she wasn’t a mean girl.  I have no reason to wish her anything but well.

The boyfriend told me to get over it, especially once he saw the preview and pronounced that we were going to see it.  I know he’s right.  And I will be seeing the movie and eventually will be wishing her well.  But I hope not to hear in press interviews that she wasn’t very popular in high school.  She may have had an awkward adolescence like everyone else, but she was one of the high school one percent and if the topic comes up, I would appreciate if she owned that.

Three sentence movie reviews: In Time

There was a good concept here, excellent production values, solid actors, all the makings of a good movie.  But it was not a good movie, alas.  There were many things that went wrong, but I think one of them was the weirdness of having everyone be 25 years old which meant there was no gravitas to any of them.

Cost: free from library
Where watched:  at home.

Le Grand Continental

White Bird, a local dance company, celebrated 15 years by staging a free performance in Pioneer Square.   Le Grand Continental is a dance by Sylvain Emard.  In it, 160 non-professional dancers of all types come together in a 30 minute performance.  There was no way I was going to miss this.

I stopped at Elephants for a sandwich and headed to Pioneer Square.  This couple caught my eye.  They were very exotic, her with her long flowing scarf, him with his baguette in his bag.  I suspect we were headed in the same direction.
 

Despite the press coverage, I didn’t really realize that so many people would also want to see free dance.  The square was packed.  An usher helpfully pointed me to a spot on the ground and I started the line of people who settled in beside me.  We had front row seats.  That open space behind the woman in the red top would eventually fill with people too.
 
Children play in the dance space before the show begins.
 
Searching for a vantage point involved climbing for some.
 
The dancers emerge.
 
And take their places.
 
Images from the dance.  Oh, how I longed for a more powerful camera.
 
 
 
The man in the green shirt wrote, “Hey ladies, I’m single”
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
At one point, everyone fell down and the children emerged and attempted to wake everyone, with no success.
 
 
 
The congregated together…

…and began to dance.
 
The founders of White Bird came over, gave them a finger shaking.
 
The children danced in response, and the men followed.
 
Suddenly everyone began to wake.
 
 
 
I enjoyed this man’s shirt (Pluto. Never Forget) as well as the fact that he kept a towel handy to mop up the sweat.
 
 
 
 
It was great seeing so many people who did not look like dancers dancing.
 
The guy in the pink shirt was one of the assistants (or something) and he was fun to watch.
 
I could never get a good shot of the guy in the Hawaiian shirt.  He was delightful to watch too.  He was quite old, comparatively  quite out of shape, didn’t quite have all the steps and was so delighted to be there.
 
The dance ended with the dancers looking about.
 
And then there were the bows.
 
 
And then we were all invited to dance with them.
 
Thanks, White Bird, for a magical 30 minutes.
 

Books read in September 2012

Yes!  Only five books read!  This month has a nice selection of fiction/non/mystery/play and even a frustrated surrender.

Read
Neverwhere
Neil Gaiman
Matt and I read aloud.
I don’t think I’ve ever read a Neil Gaiman book and this was a nice introduction.  I loved the London setting and the fantasy element was just right.

Broken Habor
Tana French
This was another great Tana French novel, I would probably rank it second on the list. (Here’s my rundown:  The Likeness; Broken Harbor; In the Woods; Faithful Place) I had great empathy for the main character and loved how French knows just how to twist the plot at just the right moment.

The Man Who Quit Money
Mark Sundeen
Interesting insight into a guy who hasn’t used money since the early 2000s.

The Crying Tree
Naseem Rakha
Read for Kenton Book Group
This was an okay book, mostly it was a relief to be able to read it after attempting and giving up on the September selection and slogging through–though ultimately loving–the August selection.  In comparison to Midnight’s Children and Jane Eyre, this was a breeze.  I found the writing to be so-so in places, and I sometimes found the characters a bit cliched, but it was a good enough book.

10/16/12–This just in!  Thanks to the Library, our book group was visited by Naseem Rakha, the author of the book and she was rather mesmerizing.  Listening to her talk about her experiences as a reporter and her experiences with people surrounding the death penalty issue gave me a deeper appreciation of the book.  Thanks to the Library and thanks to Ms. Rakha for talking tonight.

Measure for Measure
Wm. Shakespeare
Boy howdy, but I have completely fallen off the horse on the “read before you see” project as we watched Northwest Classical Theater company perform this in the spring.  I did not love this play, with so much moral quandary and double crossing.

Started and did not finish
Midnight’s Children
Soloman Rushdie
Book Group Selection.
I’ve not read any Rushdie before and I still haven’t read any.  I made it to page 94 before giving up.  The prose was too dense, the setting too foreign, the plot too plodding.  Except for one person, the other eight of us in the group didn’t finish this book.  I’ve heard Rushdie’s essays are good, perhaps I will investigate those.

Three sentence movie reviews: 10 Years

Like nearly every movie I’ve watched that stars Channing Tatum, this was much better than expected.  It was free of poop, gratuitous sex, and possibly profanity (my filter isn’t very good in that realm anymore) and was populated with solid actors (I went home and looked up all of them, saying repeatedly, “Oh yes! I remember him/her!”) and interlocking stories.  Though some of the plots fell apart upon reflection, ultimately this was just a tremendously nice movie, which I mean in the best possible way.

Cost:  $10.50 (I know!  But Channing Tatum calls.)

Where watched:  Regal Fox Tower.  It was me and one other guy and that was it.  I can’t even remember the last time I was so alone in a theater.

poster from: 

http://www.impawards.com/2012/ten_years.html

ps.  This movie has a forgettable title and probably the worst poster I’ve seen all year.

Essay: Patricia’s Money Philosophy Series. Part IV of IV: Tracking & Involving Others.

I believe in paying attention to your money.  I think that how you care for it and what you
spend it on make a difference—not only for your own piece of mind, but also in
the context of the universe and energy and whatnot.  Money ignored is money that won’t be around
for long.  So here’s an incredibly long
and detailed four-part series about how I manage my money.  To see the entire series look for the tag
“Money.”

I devote time to tracking
my money
My money management system is overkill.  I know this. But it brings me comfort to keep
an eye on my cash.  Please keep in mind
that if you develop a system to regularly manage your finances, it need not be
this complex.
I keep track of my accounts two ways:  the analog method and the digital
method.  I still have checkbooks and
savings account registers which I fill in with pencil and use a calculator to
do the addition and subtraction for me. 
My early pledge to always figure my checkbook transactions in my brain
led to many hours of fixing addition and subtraction errors before I decided to
depend on technology to keep my sanity in this area.
I also use a computer program to keep track of the activity
on my accounts, but also to tally my budget and keep track of how much money I
have in each spending category.  My
software program of choice for many years was “Microsoft Money” which came free
on a computer I bought in 2001.  I used
this in conjunction with a spreadsheet from the Simple Dollar to keep track of
my budget spending amounts.  This changed
when Microsoft decided to not continue updating the Money program and I bought
YNAB (You Need a Budget, pronounced “Why Nab”). 
YNAB keeps track of my daily spending, helps me adjust my budget each
month, as well as keeps track of category spending levels.  It’s a really amazing program and I highly
recommend it.  It was a bit of an
investment ($60.00) but has saved me time and is easy to use.
Here’s what my money tracking looks like.
Ideally, I check in (hah!) daily with my checking and
savings accounts and update them.  Actually
this happens about one to three times per week. 
First, I check my electronic statement from my bank and update the
pen-and-paper checking account and update all the math in the register.  I used to use a physical calculator to do
this once upon a time, but then eventually realized that there was a calculator
on my computer and I use it instead. 
Lately, I’ve set up an Excel spreadsheet to do the math for me because I
find I make fewer mistakes if can see a string of entries and what I have typed
in for the number.  I also use this time
to check off anything that has cleared the bank.  I don’t check it off using the official
column where you check off items used for monthly statements, instead I make a
checkmark on the line that divides the transaction description line and the
payment amount.  This helps me keep track
of how much money is actually in the account. 
It also lets me know when I’ve entered something in the wrong checkbook,
or paid cash for something and written it down in the checking account.  When everything around the item has been
pre-checked off, and that one still has not, I start thinking more deeply about
how the transaction was transacted. This part takes five minutes if I’ve kept
up with the accounts or it can take longer if I’ve been neglecting my baking tasks.
After that is done, I do any transfers necessary.  I have two checking accounts and a savings
account and the boyfriend and I have two checking accounts so there are usually
transfers to do.  The reason I (and we)
have two checking accounts is because of Mary Hunt.  Hunt advocates for a regular checking account
for all the regular purchases you pay monthly (Groceries, student loan
payments, mortgage) and then a Freedom account where you regularly transfer
monthly amounts of money for things that you don’t pay monthly, but come more
intermittently. Think car insurance, vacation expenses and—in Portland—the
Water/Sewer bill which only happens every three months, for some unknown reason.  We used to keep track of these amounts on a
spreadsheet or ledger and then pay the bills when they intermittently arrive.  Having two checking accounts keeps a person
from the psychological mistake of thinking, “Oh, I suddenly have an extra
$200.00, I can buy that overcoat I’ve been wanting) and then spending your car
insurance payment on said coat, leaving you scrambling for money when the
insurance bill arrives.  I’ve also found
that having two checking accounts means fewer errors in computation.  However, the budget/money management software
I currently use manages the category spending amounts so well that it eliminates
the need for more than one checking account. 
But we soldier on with two.
The transfers I do between my own accounts are generally one
big transfer at the beginning of the month to move my Freedom money over from
checking.  I’m paid once per month which
is tough until you get used to it, and then it seems normal.  The advantage of once-per-month pay is that
what is there at the beginning of the month needs to last until the last day of
the month whether the month is 28, 30 or 31 days.  It’s also handy because most people are
taught to budget monthly and the money arrives with the beginning (or end) of
the month.
Our joint checking accounts do not have debit cards attached
to them.  When we set them up we opted to
opt out of that technology as the things the joint checking pays for all work
well with checks and I didn’t want the extra confusion of us both having debit
cards or us trying to manage one debit card together. You will hear more of
these categories in the last segment of the series when I talk about how we
manage our money jointly.  Transfers
between joint accounts and my own happen most often when we go out to dinner
and I use my debit card to pay for the dinner. 
In that case, the dinner gets charged to the account “Money Loaned—For
Home” and I make a note in another spreadsheet of transfers to do.
I’ve found that for some reason, making transfers is my
biggest stumbling block in keeping the checking account running smoothly.  I have to force myself to do it and I’m not
sure why.  Perhaps it is because I am
miserly to my core, with hints of a spendthrift who pops out now and then, and I
don’t like to see any money leaving my account. 
Plus, there is room for error. I might transfer from the wrong account
into the wrong account leaving me with more transfers to make to put things
right.  When it’s time to transfer, I
take a deep breath and give myself a good mental push.
After that, I type the information from my paper and pencil
ledger in to YNAB, my money management program. 
After entering each transaction, I compare register balances to ensure
my math is correct.  This helps
tremendously to catch computation errors and it’s the main reason I keep both a
paper and pencil record and an electronic record.  Once that is done and all computer account
totals match paper account totals I am done. 
If I’m keeping up on a regular basis, this daily routine takes fifteen
minutes or less. If I’ve fallen behind it takes longer.  Sometimes I devote a bigger chunk of time to
catch up, other times I set a timer for 15 minutes and work several days in a
row.
Monthly, I have some other things to do.  At the end of the month, right after I am
paid, I make sure all my transactions for the month are entered in the
register, and I count my cash to see what I haven’t correctly recorded this
month.  I have chosen to keep track of my
cash as if it was a checking account, and reconciling the difference at the end
of the month.  This means I count my change
every month.  I realize that most people
would find that a bit much, but I have always loved stacking and rolling coins
and because it gives me great comfort I do it monthly.  I’m usually off in my cash account by a few
dollars, but I put those into the Cash register in the category “missing money”
and then subtract the amount from my Random Fun Things to Do category.  I only keep track of cash in my electronic
software, I’m not quite so obsessive to also use a paper register.
Once the cash is reconciled and the checking accounts are
updated, I look at a report in the budget software that tells me my income and
expenses amount.  These numbers get
transferred to a separate spreadsheet which has income and expenses, as well as
account balances at the end of the month. 
Looking at this spreadsheet I can see my account balance total for the
month as well as the monthly difference between income and expenses, which
ideally would be a positive number, indicating a bit of savings each month, but
is not.  This is mostly because of some
big-spending months (the time around Christmas for instance, or, when I am
taking college courses, when tuition is due) when I am spending down categories
in which I have budgeted larger amounts. 
Businesses avoid these fluctuations by depreciating things, but my budget
is already complex enough.
I’ve involved my
partner
When the boyfriend and I moved in together the first thing
we did was open up a joint checking account. 
People who know me and my feminist self, are sometimes surprised that I
have a joint checking account with my partner, but I agree with Suze Orman and
she thinks having a joint checking account is a good idea.  Here’s why. 
We both have retained our own money that we may spend however we please.  We pay our joint expenses into an account
once per month which makes it easy to pay our bills.  It also allows us to adjust what we pay based
who makes more money.
Right now, Matt and I are pretty even in salary.  He pays 53% of our total joint expenses into
our account and I pay 47%.  However,
figuring your total joint expenses and dividing the total by percentage is one
of the better pieces of advice for couples I’ve seen.  What if suddenly one of us gets a high-paying
job and is making much more than the partner? 
Would it be fair for someone making $100,000 per year pay 50% of joint
expenses when the other partner is making $25,000 per year?  No.  So
if the couple’s joint expenses were $1,000 per month (probably not likely, but
I’m using this example for the ease of the math) and each were paying an equal
percentage of their own salary into their joint account, the person making
$100,000 would pay $750.00 per month and the other person would pay $250.00 per
month.  Both are contributing equally to
the joint living expenses and each partner still has their own money for their
own expenses.
The second thing that happened is that we established what
our joint expenses would be.  The current
categories are:
Food—we currently buy our own groceries, but this pays for
our fruit delivery and for about one meal out together per month.
Mortgage, land lease fee—Because we bought our house through
a land trust, we pay a small amount each month for the land our house sits on,
as well as a maintenance reserve.
Electric
Internet
Phone—Matt has a cell phone, which he pays for himself, but
we both still use the landline so this is still a joint expense.  It’s also part of our internet expense as we
get our internet through a local provider who also contracts with our phone
company.
Supplies—the things in the house we both use including soap,
detergent, toilet paper etc.
Water/sewer—Portland combines these two expenses into one
bill, for better or worse.
Furniture/decoration—the category appeared when we bought a
house.  We’re set on the furniture, and this
is mostly toward decoration at this point.
Garbage—we both make the garbage and so we both pay it.
Insurance, Life—This is another category which appeared with
the house.  When we bought it, we took
out a joint term life policy for $200,000 so if one of us dies we can pay off
the balance and have some money left over as a cushion.  This is a pretty small amount for a life
insurance policy, but our mortgage was not very much, we both work outside the
home and we have no children.  If any of
those things were different our policy would be much more.
Insurance, House—back when we rented, this was renters
insurance.
Yard—a nominal amount is paid each month for expenses
related to the yard.  This includes new
plants, or straw to put down.  Someday it
might include gravel for the paths in the yard or bricks for a paved walk down
the side yard.
Alarm—this category appeared after our house was broken into.  We budgeted to pay for the alarm,
but never actually got around to activating the alarm system and so the money
eventually went to buy our new washer and dryer.
Vacation—for our joint vacations, this account is
underfunded, but perhaps will expand as we continue to work and ideally, get
raises.
Dates—for joint dates such as plays and the like.
Cleaning—each month we combine our money into a $50.00
pot.  During the month we keep track of
the chores we do to keep the house running and at the end of the month we tally
our efforts and then pay out an amount to each of us based on the points split.
It is both of our goals to get back more money than we put in.  I then use this money to fund my Random Fun
Things to Do category.
Floater
Another category of our budget is what I have termed
“floater” which is our joint savings account for the house.  Various sources recommend homeowners save
various amounts per year for big maintenance projects such as a new roof or
painting the house.  Our current
“floater” amount saved is just under 10% of our total combined expenses.  This way we have joint savings and I have
individual savings.
We meet regularly to
pay our bills.
This was an idea from various sources such as Steven Covey,
Suze Ormond and my friend Kelly.  Matt
and I meet most Sunday evenings to check in with each other about the state of
our relationship, plan time together and to manage the household expenses.  I think it’s especially important to do this
if one partner would entirely be in the dark about finances and what bills
should be paid if the other partner became incapacitated.  We have a regular agenda which means that we
regularly pay into our joint account, the bills are paid in a timely manner and
both of us share in this task.  I’m
confident that if I were to be hit by a bus Matt could carry on with the
finances side until I rejoined him.
So that’s my financial system.  It has evolved over the years and will
continue to evolve and change as needs arise. 
For many, my process is labyrinthine and complex and overwhelming, but I
believe that everyone can develop a financial system that works for them.  Your money deserves your attention and care
and you will feel peace of mind.

Three sentence movie reviews: The Hurt Locker

I knew this would be a tense film and I didn’t want it to keep me up late at night on a school night, so I came prepared with knitting to distract me.  This was a fine film, with fabulous performances by all and some excellent cinematography.  I’m quite glad it won best picture, even if it did take me over two years to see for myself.

Cost:  free from library
Where watched: at home.

Essay: Patricia’s Money Philosophy Series. Part III of IV: Learning & Saving

I believe in paying attention to your money.  I think that how you care for it and what you spend it on make a difference—not only for your own piece of mind, but also in the context of the universe and energy and whatnot.  Money ignored is money that won’t be around for long.  So here’s an incredibly long and detailed four-part series about how I manage my money.  To see the entire series look for the tag “Money.”

I learn
When I was first out in the world on my own, I started reading heaps of personal money management books.  It got so I would just wander over to the section of the Dewy Decimal System in the library to see if there was something I hadn’t read that caught my interest. Most of them say the same thing in different ways, so after you’ve read five, you can move into skimming mode once you hit say, the “how to budget” section.  From time to time I dip back in if a book interests me.  I’ve gleaned good advice from these books, and all for free.  Thank you, public library system.
If you are looking for somewhere to start I recommend Your Money or Your Life, All Your Worth by Warren and Tyagi. I have also found the debt-free philosophy of Mary Hunt to be inspiring.  Also, anything by Suze Ormon is good.  You can also follow my example and find the personal finance section at your local library and choose books at random.
I save
Since my first job in high school, I’ve always put some percentage of money aside.  Not that the money has always gone toward my far-future. In fact, the savings from that first job financed my personal spending in college.  I’ve saved various percentages of income over the years, from as little as $50.00 per month during the grim, incredibly boring and low-paying job I got after graduate school all the way up to 20% of my net pay in a brief heady time when I finished paying
for my certificate program and other things hadn’t cropped up.  With all that saving, I’m probably sitting on a pretty big pile of cash right now, right?
Not so much.  Though it’s a bigger pile then I’ve ever had.
In my mind, “saving money” is a particular thing where you put money aside and never, ever touch that money so it grows and grows until you retire when you can use it.  I’ve never met that standard with my savings.  A graph of my savings account over the last ten years would show peaks and valleys.  For instance, I saved over $5,000 to fund my move from Massachusetts to Portland.  Well done!
Those were the years where I had no debt and my living expenses were quite low.  I made the most of my savings, concerned about the many potential expenses that could crop up during the move.  So the move took up $2,200.00 of
the savings and the subsequent unemployment while looking for work ate away at some of the rest.  I took on temporary work and the company hired me and I had a brief period of saving until I entered graduate school.
Beginning with graduate school, I began to draw down the savings.  This was not an easy time for me.  Once, while once again withdrawing money from savings, I sighed while handing over my paperwork.  The bank teller inquired as to what was wrong.
“I hate having to pull money out of savings.” I told him.
“But that’s the point of savings accounts,” he replied, “so you can draw from them when you need them.”
This concept was exactly the opposite of my “put money in account never touching it until you retire” savings concept, but I had to conclude that he was right.  Without that savings account I would have exited graduate school with not only student loan debt, but also credit card debt.  It’s always better when you can be your own emergency credit card and I still hear that bank teller’s words from time to time today.
So the savings account was humbled by graduate school, but the six months of unemployment following graduate school made an ever bigger dent.  I counted on steady temporary work, as I always had found in the past, but temp work didn’t materialize over the summer.  Nor did any jobs.  The temporary work picked up in the late autumn, giving me a new appreciation for the paycheck incredibly mundane tasks provides.  Then I made a rather large financial mistake and took a job I was extremely overqualified for.
In my year and a half as a secretary, I went slowly crazy, both from boredom and disgust at my pay rate.  I was paid less than $10.00 per hour, which at the time was only a few dollars over Oregon minimum wage.  I’ve never had to watch my finances so closely.  My rent took nearly half of my gross pay and I shopped carefully for everything.  If I had loved the job, or even liked it, I would have done these things happily, but there was little work to do at my workplace and that made the scrimping even more grim.  I was barely putting anything aside, and my goal to save $5,000 was being fed by a trickle of $50.00 per month.  I didn’t want to do the math to see how long that would take.
Things improved when my boyfriend and I moved in together.  The rent we paid together on our one bedroom was only a bit more than I paid on my studio and sharing expenses really gave me some breathing room. I eventually landed my current job, which came with an $8,000 per year pay raise and my savings could begin again in earnest.  Over the last six years, the graph of savings has been more of a steady upward climb, though it has dipped now and again, as
things have cropped up.  I accept those dips, and set my course to recover the savings as soon as I am able.