Tag: funny

Trimet employs white-out to eliminate racist statement. Probably not ironically.

“No Blacks.” Someone had graffitied, in answer to the statement, “What makes this place great.”
Then the word “no” was covered in white-out.
I don’t really know if it was a Trimet employee who used the whiteout, or a random passerby with whiteout in their backpack.  Either way, I snickered.

A way with words.

This came via email today.  I get “child is sick” emails nearly every school day of the year and this was the first one that made me laugh out loud:

Subject:  Henrietta is sick.

I am sorry to report that Henrietta is in the throes of yet another plague. Inspiring me to make the positive suggestion that she perhaps be a bit more sincere in her handwashing efforts. Sigh. 
See you Monday, snot gods willing. 
Ann
Needless to say, names have been changed.

Go team?

I realize some people may look at the way I allocate my time and think I’m a bit crazy for, say, spending untold hours writing for a blog that about five people read on a regular basis.  However, I couldn’t help but be amused by this guy.  Yes the Seahawks are going to the Superbowl, but what sort of thought process brought him to be standing on an overpass on a Friday afternoon, giving thumbs up to cars that honked at him.

Go team?

Signs of the Hunger Games in Cosmetics.


Would Katniss be shooting naked?  Maybe if it was a really hot day.  But perhaps not.


I think the ad people haven’t really grasped that it’s not so cool to be from Panem.

Because when there is revolution afoot, don’t forget to apply makeup for best results!

Interestingly enough, the only time Katniss Everdeen is seen in makeup someone else puts it on her.  She takes it off as soon as she can.

Astounding things from Parade Magazine.

“With the former Miss Independent now officially Mrs. Blackstock…”  Why is it that we need to make a point of a woman not being independant when she marries?  I never hear this about men.
 
It’s a turkey?  No!  It’s a cake that looks like a Turkey!

I must confess that this genre of cakes pretending to be something else delights me, though I would never eat one.  My favorite check stand headline reading is the magazine First For Women which always has a  cover featuring a way to lose large amounts of weight in tiny amounts of time, plus some cake that looks like another object.  My favorite was the cake picnic basket complete with ants, but this “turkey” is totally in the running now.

Is this the kind of killing frost in which Wildfire was lost?

It’s been coooooooollllllllldddddd in Portland (getting all the way down to the high 20s)* so our frosts have been fierce.

Whenever there is a heavy frost I think of the Dave Barry column about the worst songs ever written, which thanks to the internet, is available here to read for yourself.  However, for those of you who are not going to click, I’ll just excerpt the Wildfire part:
Many readers are still very hostile toward the song “Wildfire,” in which singer Michael Murphy wails for what seems like 97 minutes about a lost pony. (As one voter put it: “Break a leg, Wildfire.”) Voter Steele Hinton particularly criticized the verse wherein there came a killing frost, which causes Wildfire to get lost. As Hinton points out: … ‘killing’ in ‘killing frost’ refers to your flowers and your garden vegetables, and when one is forecast you should cover your tomatoes … Nobody ever got lost in a killing frost who wouldn’t get lost in July as well.”

*And yes, people who live in places that actually experience cold, I KNOW that isn’t very cold.  But I’ve acclimated.

Copy editor needed. STAT!

Hey Oregonian.  Maybe you could put some money towards better proofreading?

24/7 is something entirely different than the improper fraction of 24/7, which I can’t recreate in this blog, but which is in the text above.  24/7 means “all the time” namely 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.  24/7 means 3 and 3/7 of something.

(And yes, this blog could use a copy editor too.  But this blog is not a major news organization.)