Tag: funny

Is this the kind of killing frost in which Wildfire was lost?

It’s been coooooooollllllllldddddd in Portland (getting all the way down to the high 20s)* so our frosts have been fierce.

Whenever there is a heavy frost I think of the Dave Barry column about the worst songs ever written, which thanks to the internet, is available here to read for yourself.  However, for those of you who are not going to click, I’ll just excerpt the Wildfire part:
Many readers are still very hostile toward the song “Wildfire,” in which singer Michael Murphy wails for what seems like 97 minutes about a lost pony. (As one voter put it: “Break a leg, Wildfire.”) Voter Steele Hinton particularly criticized the verse wherein there came a killing frost, which causes Wildfire to get lost. As Hinton points out: … ‘killing’ in ‘killing frost’ refers to your flowers and your garden vegetables, and when one is forecast you should cover your tomatoes … Nobody ever got lost in a killing frost who wouldn’t get lost in July as well.”

*And yes, people who live in places that actually experience cold, I KNOW that isn’t very cold.  But I’ve acclimated.

Copy editor needed. STAT!

Hey Oregonian.  Maybe you could put some money towards better proofreading?

24/7 is something entirely different than the improper fraction of 24/7, which I can’t recreate in this blog, but which is in the text above.  24/7 means “all the time” namely 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.  24/7 means 3 and 3/7 of something.

(And yes, this blog could use a copy editor too.  But this blog is not a major news organization.)

Missing the point of the qualities inherent to glass:

I see this a lot at school and it amuses me.  Since glass is transparent, another way to do this would be to stack both signs together and affix them on just one side of the glass.  By doing so, you get the following advantages:
  • the flier facing the elements is protected by the glass, yet still readable
  • four pieces of tape hold up two fliers vs. eight pieces of tape holding up two fliers
  • you need not spend time carefully aligning two posters so they match each other

Surprise!


I pick up most of my library books from the hold shelf rather than the stacks.  Along with the book comes a piece of paper with my name on it which, after having checked out the book, I fold into quarters and use as a bookmark. It’s quite handy.  But imagine my surprise when I received a text message from my friend across town.  What are the odds?

Well, not as wild as one would think.  We are both in the same book group and that book was on our list for the monthy.  And there are only 10 copies at the library, so that narrows the chances a bit.  But still, funny that she would get the book right after me and a fun text-message surprise for my afternoon.

ps.  We both liked the book.
pps.  Which was Far Far Away by Tom McNeal.

Flowers? For Me?


No.  They were delivered to one of our teachers.  The delivery woman explained they were for the teacher’s daughter, but I was to give them to the teacher. I put the flowers in the office and passed along the note that her daughter’s flowers were there, assuming she knew the drill. She did not, however, because she arrived in the office thinking they were flowers from her daughter to her.

They were not.  They were from her daughter’s ex-boyfriend congratulating the daughter on her recent engagement, with a very passive aggressive message that made all of us roll our eyes and chuckle.  Needless to say, the daughter wasn’t interested in said flowers and was out of town, so guess who got to keep the flowers?  Me!  Thanks ex-boyfriend! I loved them.