Tag: funny

I know why there are ketchup and mustard dispensers sitting in the kitchen at work.  They are being used by the children to make peace flags.*  By why this mustard dispenser has a label on it that says, “predators are too close”?  Who knows?

*It occurs to me that the above sentence will make no sense to anyone else but staff at school.  So here’s what they did:  children color coffee filters with crayola-type markers, then the mustard/ketchup containers are filled with water and the water is sprayed over the coffee filter and that causes the colors to run on the coffee filter.  The filters are hung to dry et voila!  Peace Flags.

Anyone who has taken a drive past breakfast places on the weekend knows how popular breakfast is in Portland.  I don’t know about the rest of the state, though.  

We’ve gotten rid of that other style columnist out of Chicago, the one who thinks $20.00 is no big deal to spend.  We’ve continued on with the local style columnist, who I actually like.  But I wonder if male fall fashions are taking their cues from Northwest hipster trends, or maybe we just live IN the center of Northwest hipster trends.

Good day,

My name is Grant Law. I’m the developer of a fencing system which utilizes homemade foam weapons within a fantasy-styled framework. I am currently searching for schools in the Portland area that are interested in making our fencing program available to their students by hosting our program one day a week through the school year. I would like to talk with you or another representative about the possibility of holding classes at your school, and answer any questions you might have about our system.

The system is similar to what is commonly called boffer fighting, however my methods incorporate traditional western fencing techniques with an extensive rule set that greatly extends students’ potential paths towards success. My program was created while teaching at Pacific Crest Community School over the 2013-2014 school year, and included approximately 1/3rd of the student population, in both club and physical education class settings. Many of the activities we engaged in are described at a website created for the Pacific Crest Garrison — the name we ended up adopting for our site (http://grantlaw8.wix.com/pacificcrestgarrison).

Encouraged by the response of the Pacific Crest community, I’m attempting to expand the scope of our fencing program. I’m hoping to set up several after-school clubs in Portland, that would operate from 3:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m., one day a week. Classes will include an hour of instruction in basic fencing skills, including footwork, parries, and attacks, and an hour dedicated either to crafting weapons and armor, or tournament fencing. Students would directly pay for these classes, on either a monthly, quarterly. or semester rate, depending on the structure utilized by the school.

Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

– Grant Law

“Good, no real food here anyway.”

This is at Kaiser.  

I must confess, I’ve perused the options in this vending machine and rejected them, because it’s all boring healthy food.  Who wants that from a vending machine?

Look!  We have photographic evidence.  Skinny tall women without boobs can wear it, and skinny tall people WITH boobs can wear the style.  That’s everyone, right?

One of the K/1 classes made informative signs which they helpfully hung around the school.

This is my favorite, both for the message and the illustration: