Tag: three sentence movies

“I think that movie was just a continuation of Clint Eastwood’s Republican National Convention speech:  facts don’t matter, go with your gut!” said the boyfriend as we were walking home.  And there really wasn’t much to love about this movie; it wasn’t even bad in that terribly fun Battleship way, just mediocre and boring.  Amy Adams brought it as usual, but it says a lot when the hour-each-way walk to/from the theater along a dimly lit road with mud and cold weather was more entertaining than the movie itself.

Where watched: Jubitz Cinema
Cost:  $3.00

Though I quibbled with the main thrust (hah!) of the story,* there were so many great family moments in this movie that I couldn’t do anything but love it.  Plus, I have this theory that Paul Rudd in Clueless** imprinted himself on so many then-high school girls that we can’t help but love him whenever we see him and it seems that Mark Ruffalo in You Can Count on Me*** did the same thing, but to my college self and I can’t not like him.  And Peeta was in it (!) and that Mia girl with the complex last name is a fantabulous actress.

First off, let me reassure you that in 2044, women are still wearing high heels.*  This movie constantly surprised me, went to a few dark places I had no idea were coming and was a thoughtful, well-acted,** action-packed piece that I really loved.  That said, given what I know of the people around me who are parents, especially of young children, you might want to do a little research and see if you really want to see this movie before you go.

I’m sorry, fans of Annie Hall, but I got so bored during this movie I read the IMDB trivia on my computer while the movie was still happening on the TV.  I can appreciate the unique cinema techniques deployed and there were parts of this movie that were amusing, but Woody Allen’s schtick makes me feel trapped and unable to breathe and then very bored.  However, Diane Keaton was wonderful and I also had no idea that Woody Allen was a stand-up comedian before he was a writer/director.*

Cost: free from library.
Where watched: at home.

*This is kind of bizarre to me, as I feel I have a good handle on popular culture of the 60s & 70s even though I was too young/not born to experience it first hand.  But if you had asked me the day before I had watched this movie if Woody Allen was a stand up comic I would have insisted that no, he writes and directs movies.

Sort of Winter’s Bone, but with a boy instead of a girl, urban Scotland instead of the Ozarks.    The accent was thick enough that I had to read the subtitles–how can the word “can” be two syllables?–but that added to the charm.  It’s an interesting slice of life-type movie.

Cost:  free from library
Where watched: at home.

This movie had what is usually the kiss of death for me:  the snotty kid.  But the acting was fabulous (Michelle Monaghan brought her usual A game, Nathan Fillion was a likable companion and Jimmy Bennett straddled the “angry kid” role) and the plot was not only about a woman, but the kind of working class woman we rarely see on the screen.  This was 90 minutes of perfect movie, as far as I’m concerned and you should go and watch it today.

It turns out that having Darth Vader  Billy Elliott and Nick Fury in the same movie doesn’t mean that it will be a good movie.  The reason to watch this is because Jamie Bell (the aforementioned Billy Elliott) is quite fun in his slightly unhinged character.  Samuel Jackson is good too, but that Hayden Christensen,  he’s too pretty and he knows it.

Here also is a second three-sentence review from my usually squelched feminist movie critic who just couldn’t lay dormant.  This review contains SPOILERS but the movie isn’t very good and you aren’t going to watch it, so read on.
Can we just say, “Totally lame abusive relationship?”  Guy shows up after seven years, guy whisks girl away to Rome with absolutely no explanation, then guy starts ordering girl to do things without explaining the situation to her AND SHE DOES?  And then at the end, despite the fact that the Paladins are going to go after her family and kill all of them, she stays with him?

Cost:  Free from library
Where watched:  At home.