Category: Three Sentence Movie Reviews

I found this movie to be more successful than the book, mostly due to the fact it was more fun to watch the Dauntless faction run through the streets and jump on and off trains than it was to read about it.  The story is thin, but it was well acted and the futuristic Chicago was fun to look at.  They did the Hollywood usual tamping back of the awesomeness of females, but not to the degree I’ve seen in other movies.*

Cost:  $5.00
Where watched:  St. Johns Cinema

*Still looking at you, Gone Baby Gone.
But let’s discuss for a moment what they did, because I found it pretty egregious.  Not once did they show Triss winning a fight, which she does a few times in the book.**  Also, in the book, she was ranked first in the Dauntless initiates.  FIRST! It was a big deal, because ranking first is important, but also because her male counterpart, Four, had also ranked first when he went through training.  This was not mentioned at all in the movie, which I found particularly telling.  Furthermore, in the book, one of the fears that Triss must overcome in her thought landscape, is having sex with Four, knowing he only wants her for her body.  In the movie, they turned this into a quasi-rape scene which is not at all the same thing.  But why show some nuance in the female psyche, when you can head right back over to that reliable rape thing?  It makes me want to spit.

**This is annoying because she spends the second book in the traditional female role of having the men take care of her, which means that we never got to see her kick ass on screen.

ps.  Oh hell, let’s just add in the poster of Mr. Pamuk, while we are at it.

I was surprised to find this movie incredibly underwhelming, both in plot and visually.  Several times I found my eyes closing because it was interesting to listen to, though perhaps I just wanted a nap?  I want to blame the costumes–the men wore 40s-style wool baggy pants with 80s-style polo shirts tucked in and I found that very distracting,* but I’m guessing I wouldn’t have had that reaction if the plot was more interesting.

Cost:  $7.00
Where watched:  Living Room Theaters.

*I also found Joaquin Phoenix’s mustache distracting.

As long as you know that women are nothing more than objects,* this is a very funny movie.  It’s also quite lengthy and the visuals will stick with you for a days which is unfortunate, because walking around with R-rated (though really MPAA? How is this R rated?**) visuals of women being screwed is odd when you work in an elementary school.  Excellent performances all around with a couple of Leonardo DiCaprio’s speeches taking my breath away.***

Cost:  $5.00
Where watched:  St. Johns Cinema

*Not even objects, really.  Just vessels waiting to receive copious amounts of semen in various orifices.
**Don’t even get me started on the MPAA and their willingness to let women be screwed by heterosexual males, but not being okay with women enjoying sex on their own terms.
***He really is a good actor.  I forget sometimes.

After many months of excited Kickstarter backer updates, the movie is here.  And it was good, just like the show was good; funny and dark and packed full of shout-outs.  Seeing it on opening night was great, because the audience reaction was phenomnal, which makes me glad I live in a town that screened the movie.

Cost:  $9.00 (and worth every penny)
Where watched:  Living Room Theaters, with Matt

I think you could easily fall into the “Bor-ring” side of this movie, but given your life experience and how restless you are, it might also be quite fascinating. For myself, I’ve had the kind of jobs where you go out after work and also experienced the unfortunate and hopeless coworker sexual tension that never ends well, so I was totally in.  After I finished watching, I read that the majority of the movie was improvised I was even more impressed.

Cost: $2.00 Videorama
Where watched: at home.

Um.  Where is Jake Johnson’s copious amount of facial hair? It has been excised for the poster.  Did they think the facial hair would scare people and keep them away?

Yeah, so Diablo Cody and Jason Reitman should just keep writing/directing movies together as the two things they have produced have not only been awesome, but also incredible portraits of interesting (shhh, don’t say it too loudly or it might not get made) women.  Charlize Theron is incredible as the unlikable Mavis Gary, but Patton Oswald–who was not listed on the cover and is only in a tiny picture on the back of the DVD–also was amazing.  Most of the movie was funny and tragic for seemingly no reason, but when I realized what the reason for the funny and tragic is, I wanted to boost Diablo Cody on my shoulders and parade her around the room.

Cost: free from library
Where watched: at home.

Poster commentary.  I hate the above poster and feel it does nothing to capture the nuance of the movie.  The one below is a tiny bit better, though still not quite up to par.  I never saw the poster below, only the one above, which is categorized as version 2.

This came to me via a preview before another movie and I was intrigued, mostly because I haven’t seen much of Minnie Driver of late.  It was amusing, and I found myself caught up in how they were going to make everything come out all right in the end.  I’ll let you watch and find out if they did.

Cost: $2.00 from Videorama
Where watched: at home.

(Bonus: funny scene for people who know people who are scared of birds.  In the DVD extras we find out that in real life Rose Byrne is one of those bird-fearers)

I’m kind of in the same camp as Tim’s Dad and would use my power to go back to any point in my life to read everything I want to read (and perhaps catch up on my movie viewing too,) but from a cinematic standpoint,  it was probably more fun to watch Tim use his powers to get a girlfriend.  This is a sweet and clever movie that manages to unexpectedly knock it out of the park near the end.  Highly recommended.

ps.  The wedding in this has become my new favorite wedding-in-film scene.

Cost: $2.00 from Videorama
Where watched: at home.

While I was tortured with a few days of the relentlessly perky “Everything is Awesome” theme song stuck in my head, it was worth it, due to the general hilarity of this film.  It was fun to see the different Lego worlds and the many famous Legos were enjoyable.*  As someone who liked to assemble my legos as instructed and leave them that way forever, I wasn’t a huge fan of the third act, but I didn’t disagree with their message.

Cost: $5.00
Where watched:  St. John’s Theater

*My favorite being the “1980-something space guy,” but Batman was hilarious.

I didn’t take well to the BIG THING that happened at the end of the second episode, and thus was not really enthralled with the whole shebang.  However, the season did have its charming moments, like the scene with Mary, Tom and Isobel sitting in the nursery, talking about when they knew they were in love.  They managed to wrap everything up nicely in the end and I’m interested in seeing what season five brings.

Cost: free for me
Where watched: mom’s house, because she DVR’d the season, thus sparing me from late Sunday nights