Category: Three Sentence Movie Reviews

A nicely done third installment in the reboot, though I did wince, every time Anton Yelchin was in danger of being crushed.* I enjoyed Sofia Boutella as as Jaylah, as well as the Pine/Quinto Kirk/Spock ongoing relationship. That said, the film vacated my brain soon after leaving the theater.

Cost: $0.40 thanks to Matt’s Regal gift cards.
Where watched: Regal City Center Stadium 12 with Matt

*Which seemed to happen regularly.

poster from: http://www.impawards.com/2016/star_trek_beyond.html
(the poster people LOVE this poster)

Kathryn Bigelow is known for her adrenaline-packed movies, and so this surprised me with its subtly.  Two stories of women and relationships play out over the run-time and both are fascinating to scratch away the layers.  Sarah Polley was her usual good self and Catherine McCormak’s performance* was also quite good too.

Cost: free from work-sponsored Netflix
Where watched: at home

*You wouldn’t know it from the poster, but she’s the main character.  She’s the one in the lower left corner, kissing Sean Penn with her back to the camera.

poster from: http://www.impawards.com/2002/weight_of_water.html
I really hate this poster.  The movie is about the women, not Sean Penn!

I feel like maybe this could have been a good movie, and also a franchise, but something didn’t translate well to screen.  Part of the problem was Ashley Sommers performance, which was either terrible, or she was directed to act in the manner of a 40s-era rapid-fire female lead.  Those bodachs (the grabby things in the poster) were nicely creepy crawly and Yelchin did his usual good job, but this movie was just a so-so venture.

Cost: free from library
Where watched: at home

poster from: http://www.impawards.com/2013/odd_thomas_ver7.html

The second movie I’ve watched this year based on an Alice Munro short story.  This was quiet in its execution and measured in its emotion and I enjoyed the journey.  Kristen Wiig is, once again, very good.

Cost: free from library
Where watched: at home.

poster from: http://www.impawards.com/2014/hateship_loveship.html

While this movie was pretty to look at and interesting to contemplate, I never emotionally latched onto it and thus it was just an okay film for me.  Also, how exactly did this family support themselves by selling bird houses?* In other news, this movie now contains my new favorite version of Sweet Child O’Mine.

Cost: I think matinees at Regal are more than $10.00 now?
Where watched: Regal Fox Tower w/S. North.

* I get they lived on the cheap, but that school bus was gorgeously remodeled in a not-in-a-cheap way.   And all of those kids had running shoes.  And climbing gear.  Those things cost money.

Poster commentary was of the ilk that the above poster made this movie look like a Wes Anderson flick and I can’t disagree.  I think the below poster captures the movie’s sentiment in a much better way.

posters from:
http://www.impawards.com/2016/captain_fantastic.html
http://www.impawards.com/2016/captain_fantastic_ver3.html

This movie was trying to be something it failed to be, what with the jumbled time line and the scritch-scritch effects.  It wasn’t a winner in the “Whoa! Super Artsy, Man!” category, but the story of the ebb and flow of the romance was interesting enough.  Both actors were quite solid in their performances.

Cost: free from library
Where watched: at home.

I’ve pledged to call out when I see movies unapologetically using fat people to further their plots. In this movie, Justin Long is waiting in line and a teenage girl keeps talking to him.   The guy in line behind Justin Long insults Justin Long for his fat date (the teenage girl), thus trying to set himself up as looking good for Emily Rossum.  I see that the script is using his words to depict this guy as an asshole, but what he said was troubling enough that I gave a cry of dismay and then the movie just floated on by that incident. leaving the fat joke hanging out there.

poster from: http://www.impawards.com/2014/comet.html

I was so busy taking a stand against internet trolls that the first couple of jokes flew by me before I remembered, “Oh yeah, this is a comedy.”*  And I started laughing and didn’t stop, except when I was being scared, or enjoying that happy, glowing feeling when I realized just how much I’m enjoying a movie.  This was a big winner for me, from the name of one of the characters, to the hilarity, to the fact that a major kick-ass action scene was performed by a female wearing overalls.**

Cost: $10.00
Where watched: Bagdad Theater with Matt, and also AM and BM, who Matt happened to run into.)

*”Anti-Irish fencing” was the phrase where my brain woke up.
**I’ve listened with open ears to the critical responses (Filmspotting was particularly savage in it’s analysis in a way I don’t usually hear on that podcast) and I have to say, that I hear what you are saying, but I just don’t care.  This movie and I are friends forever.  I loved it.

poster from: http://www.impawards.com/2016/ghostbusters_ver2.html

Slow-burn love story set before/during/after World War I. It’s an old fashioned kind of a love story, full of longing and denial and long separation.  I can’t say it lit me on fire, but it meanders along just fine and the acting was good, so take what you will from that.

Cost: free from library
Where watched: at home.

poster from: http://www.impawards.com/intl/misc/2014/promise.html

That there quote on the movie poster is spot-on as this is a very classy film about falling in love.  I found the entire thing enchanting in the best movie way possible: where New York City is romantic, the people are pretty, the relationships complex and the ending well-earned.*  It’s always wonderful** when I find a perfect movie I’d never heard of.

Cost: free from library
Where watched: at home.  Matt was playing a game and half-watching it and he really liked it too.

*Also, some amazing lines.  Here’s just one:  In New York, you’re never more than 20 feet away from someone you know, or someone you’re meant to know.
**It’s wonderful and disconcerting.  How many perfect movies I’ve never heard of are sitting there patiently, waiting for me to find them?  What if I never do?

poster from: http://www.impawards.com/2014/five_to_seven.html

I will promise you this:  your favorite story, whatever it may be, was written for one reader.

Thank goodness Mr. Gosling has ended his acting hiatus, and thankfully he has starred in something that doesn’t require him to be silent and sad-eyed all the time.*  He and Mr. Crowe make a funny comedy team in this story that is mostly about the two of them being a funny comedy team and not so much about the big-three automakers colluding.**  The 70s details were nice also.

Cost: $4.00
Where watched:  Laurelhurst Theater, with Matt and a bunch of theater goers who were rather chatty.  Not off-topic chatty, but they reacted to what was going on in the movie very verbally.

*Though I did enjoy the Place Beyond the Pines.
**I felt that the whole plot motivation was shoehorned in at the last minute.

poster from: http://www.impawards.com/2016/nice_guys.html